Day One, Again: Restarting after a long time off

It has been over six years since I first started this blog. In some ways, a lot has changed in my life since then. In other ways, though, not much has changed at all…

In the last six years I have moved home and changed job three times each, survived abusive bosses, and lived through a painful and seemingly endless pandemic. My ‘pain-factor’, to which I have previously attributed my food addiction and therefore my weight gain, has increased with every new blow, my confidence has been crushed to a point of near non-existence and my weight has ballooned to new a new level as a result.

It’s now time for things to change for the better. I finally have a job I love and am thriving in, allowing my confidence to start re-climbing to its natural level, I am very happily married to a wonderful and loving husband who supports me fully, and I live in a beautiful flat in the countryside. There is no reason why now cannot be the time I finally conquer this challenge I have been facing for the last 30 years and therefore, I am restarting my efforts and restating my goals – coming back into the light!

I have now reached the point in my life when I would like to be able to start thinking about having children. I am the last of my university friends to have not yet taken this step, and my husband and I are approaching being “ready”, whatever that means.

My weight, however, is the thus far immovable obstacle, as it would be unwise for my and my child’s health to fall pregnant in my current state. Heart problems for me and an increased risk of deficits in a child are a good deterrent, but my age and the potential to encounter challenges are the other side of the argument. This is yet another reason now is the time to seriously address my weight and my health.

It is a surprisingly difficult decision to make, to approach this weight loss journey seriously. It requires a complete change of lifestyle, a lot of effort and no small amount of discomfort or pain. This scares me a lot, but I do know it’s manageable. My husband and I do not help each other in this, as we have the same weaknesses, therefore lacking the strength to motivate ourselves, let alone the other, to “do something about it”, to quote Mrs Bott from Richmal Crompton’s Just William on the same topic.

So, a plan of action is required. I know that the most important element for me is to address my eating habits – success in this area will mean that the rest will naturally follow.

I had some small success a couple of years ago with one strategy, which I am now planning to reimplement. I find lunch very boring – inventing and, “much worse”, actually making recipes for it are a great part of my downfall, to borrow a phrase from Hugh Grant in Two Weeks’ Notice. To combat this, alongside portion sizes at dinner, I will eat half of my dinner in the evening, saving the rest for lunch the following day. My hope is that this will prove to be a relatively painless, and therefore sustainable, way to cut calories and ensure lunchtimes are safe.

In addition to this plan, I also plan to cut sugar, within reasonable limits, as I know this helps curb food cravings, and count calories. The latter is more because I am interested in working out how fast, or rather how slow, my metabolism is, so I can plan more accurately going forward. In theory, this should all be relatively easy at the beginning, since I have so much weight to lose, but I know it will get harder and harder as I get any closer to my goal.

So, off I go again – this time towards genuine success!